If, however, you want to become the type of (wo)manIf you are always confident and never scared, then this article is not for you. If you are happy with life and don’t want to grow and accomplish the things far beyond your current reach, then this article (and site) will only serve to lead you in the wrong direction
- that can walk into a room and be comfortable talking to the most eccentric, beautiful, intimidating people, as if you’ve known them all your life
- who can work (outside their heads) with teams and even lead
- that feels fear and embraces it
- who embraces challenges through self empowerment
…then this article IS FOR YOU.
The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, but when you don’t understand yourself.
Simple Steps to Crush Social Anxiety: Self Help Technique
Still reading and willing to work smart, not just hard? The following steps can add tremendous value to your life.
- Grab a pen and paper.
- Sit and breath in deeply for a few minutes.
- Write down one big, hairy, audacious goal that your current “you” could not do over night.
- Use stream of thought: write down what type of person would accomplish those goals.
- Sit comfortably and relaxed while you picture what this type of person would do on a typical day; how this person would feel, stand, walk, and speak to others, etc.
- Make a list of the smallest changes you can make. Make it SIMPLE. Such as: do 10 pushups a day, strike up conversation with your waitstaff or doorman, or read 1 page a day.
- Use pre-commitment.
What is Pre-commitment?
Pre-commitment was first introduced by a nobel prize winning economist,Thomas Schelling, who is known for his influence and knowledge on Game Theory, management of the Ego, and conflict strategy.
Pre-commitment is an excellent way to keep your ‘future self’ in check when you want to change your habits, especially the disempowering habit of social anxiety. Self help is also about self monitoring.
“Many of us have little tricks we play on ourselves to make us do the things we ought to do or to keep us from the things we out to foreswear. Sometimes we put things out of reach for the moment of temptation, sometimes we promise ourselves small rewards, and sometimes we surrender authority to a trustworthy friend who will police our calories or our cigarettes. We place the alarm clock across the room so we cannot turn it off without getting out of bed. People who are chronically late set their watches a few minutes ahead to deceive themselves.” – Thomas Schelling, “Egonomics, or the Art of Self-Management”
Pre-commitment can come in many forms:
- Telling a friend you will give him 200 dollars if you don’t read 1 page a day for 30 days.
- Gving someone 500 dollars to hold and only give back to you if you talk to 5 girls on the subway.
- Creating accountability to do 10 push-ups a day with another friend that wants to start working out.
- Spending 100 dollars on a Toastmasters membership.
(Bonus: there’s another reason why this works and it is called the minimum effective dose or minimum absolute threshold.)
The common factor in all this is you and your ability to set up fool-proof systems that give you self-empowerment.
Little by little.
Inch by Inch
Day by Day.
(Bonus: for more help on how to visualize, check out this article on social anxiety & self help. It’s a little wordy, but still some solid information.)
Comments